Pedestalization
“If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” ― Epictetus
As you can probably tell I don’t do the PU thing very often. I am not skilled in the art of the pickup by any stretch of imagination. It may come to a shock to you that I am actually very funny, I suppose I have that comic depression sorta thing goin on.
Anyhow, I read Heartise, and I think there is no way this stuff really works. I mean Rollo states “knowing is half the battle“, the internalization takes some time. I still don’t believe these guys, that it generates attraction. But I did see it work to some extent with TheOne as I was learning about “game”. Although I was too attached to the outcome to really let my personality shine.
What I am about to describe is a conversation through a buffer, per Rollo. Ok, but since I don’t see TheOne, I can’t really try my best game, after all despite the abuse, she was a pretty good place to practice game. Which brings me to state of my game #1.5, it doesn’t deserve a full integer, its online. I am daring and exploring just like HumblePie, the world of online match making. Only being a guy its a statistical problem, but also probably a “content” problem. The way I see it there are many guys chasing to few woman, they are the prize. If you are a woman, online dating is so good. I have female friends tell me, you could “date for dinners” all week. So I needed to find a place where I am in demand, I have found that site. I won’t go into the details now 
but lets just review the first wound in what I hope is the eventual killing of the BETA that is in me…….
I received an email from a rather attractive women that stated…..
Kathy: helo) im wood like to know more about you
Understand, I am used to getting emails from women on this site, and in this case I would typically reply with something like…
ME: Sure, I am single, no kids, never married, I live in San Jose California. I visit Florida 3 to 4times a year. For work I travel to Japan 2-3times a year. I love to cycle, so I am cycling from Geneve to Nice in July. I will be spending a couple of days there, then travelling to Bologna Italy, to visit friends. If we get along well enough, perhaps you could join.
I am looking for a friend to start, and if things work out great, if not its good to know people around the world.
Then I would wait, and typically I wouldn’t get a response, even from women that I would think I would have a chance at, or emailed me first. Kathy is out of my league, of course I can hear Rollo in my ear saying let her disqualify you, don’t do it yourself. I haven’t killed that part of my BETA yet. Regardless when I received Kathy’s email I went in to full BETA, typing away, trying to “impress” her with the above, then it hit me. This is pure BETA. Its online, I don’t know her, I need not care about outcomes. I am going to Italy without her, she needs to give me a reason why I should let her join me. So perhaps I will try the aloof path, act like I don’t care……. So thought about, ok, it lets try it… So I sent…..
ME:
I like cats! Do you?
and thought I would never hear from her again, my hamster went into overdrive, I blew that shot…….. But I didn’t have anything to lose, right…right?…… within minutes I get a reply (very rare)…..
Kathy: yes
?? WTF? The response blows my mind. I know I know, I didn’t get laid, or even the offer, but she laughed, I touched her emotions. The only thing I can think is that its so aloof and non-serious, and uncommon that it is unique. This site is very expensive, and world wide, so most men probably are going to the BETA move of “qualifying themselves” with an impression and $$ kinda statements. Thats one thought, so I replied….
ME: Really, well perhaps I will let you take me to Italy.
Its not my best move, but it maintains a couple of points Kenny, my pickup consultant, might agree with. I maintained frame, and I acted like I am the prize in an aloof manner. My friend Allison says I am hilarous, but I only let it out with her, because I don’t care. All the while I sit here and doubt I will hear from her again, it was a nice experiment. But I am hopeful, and as Rollo says I should prepare for success…..
You’ve crossed over to the dark side! Have you been online dating for a while and never mentioned it? Can I ask something? Why do you have to kill BETA? I preferred your BETA answer, and not because I thought you were trying to impress or because of $. I thought you seemed honest and interesting. I would have answered the first response and ignored the cat question. And why doesn’t Kathy know how to spell? What makes her so out of your league?
Oh Humble :)
RE:”Dark side” .. I take that as a compliment ;)
I have been trying online dating on many different sites, cycling, hiking, match, harmony, for years. Never had one date, very rarely do I ever get more than two emails. I have been pushed and prodded by Holly, but I just don’t come across as what is needed I suppose. I actually read studies about online dating keywords and phrases to use, seem ridiculous right but it works to some extent. Why? I haven’t a clue.
Lets try the socratic method here…. What is it that attracts you to TheChef? If my research is correct its that he has confidence, is sure of himself. A BETA, and many of my behaviors are not confident, and so sure. As a good engineer you are never completely confident, or sure. But I can lead other engineers, no problem. Killing the BETA is a journey to stop those behaviors and realize I am enough.
There are many things that women have a base level attraction for, the most primary is “Hypergamy”. The basic definition is that women are attracted to men of higher status. If I behave lower status than her qualifying myself for her attention, BETA email. Her base level attraction mechanisms aren’t activated. You might be interested, but you aren’t attracted. I can do the comfort side (BETA) of attraction really well, its the tension (ALPHA) I have trouble with, the bad boy if you will.
http://therationalmale.com/2012/05/16/hypergamy-doesnt-care/
An underling facet of my response is that I don’t care about her enough to give her a serious response. In otherwords, I am enough, prove to me you deserve to know more about me, I have plenty of women. This is known as preselection, which implys that women will be more competitive with each other over a man that is already attached, wanted. Why is a married man so much more attractive than a single man? http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/apologies-freud/201210/why-women-want-married-men
I hear you are interested in the “BETA” response, but I am stereotyping here, my guess if we were to run this as an experiment, all things being equal, you would be more attracted to the ALPHA (emotional) response, than the BETA (logical).
In the end, you might be asking why all the “game playing”. The manosphere goes through a complicated logic to point out its all game playing. But my logic is simple, what I was doing wasn’t working. Do I continue doing the same thing and expect different results? OR try something new, extend and grow?
Kathy can’t spell because she isn’t from the UnitedStates or even an English speaking country. As an overarching philosophy, in the US, I am at a disadvantage competing in the online game. Meaning I am not the prize, the women are. But in the Rest of the World, I am a wanted commodity, I have US citizenship, more wealth than I know what to do with, among other things. This makes me the prize, and of higher status, I am using that to my advantage.
This is an overview of what is known as the Redpill….. its hard to wrap your mind around it because its so counter to what we have been taught (Matrix).
I can’t wait to hear about your journey in online dating, because for me it interesting to read about what the other side is thinking. You have to remember in the US you are the prize in the online world. If a guy emails you, he is attracted to you, thats the way we work, we are pretty simple in that regard. But women are dare I say more sophisticated in their attraction mechanisms, do to evolution and limited number of reproduction opportunities.
Have a good day, talk soon!
You’ve given me a lot to chew on. Attraction is such a non-measurable thing to me. I was attracted to The Chef from his photos (and his profile seemed to say, “I’m normal and funny”). Finding out later that he was an executive chef gave me more information about his character, which made him more attractive to me. I love the fact that he knows food. Yes, he might be an ALPHA, but I don’t know him well enough yet to say for sure. I’ve never dated an ALPHA – I might not like it. But that’s what we’re here to do, yes? Explore and discover. If what you were doing wasn’t working, then you’re doing the right thing – trying something different. I like that you’re testing your theories. By the way, I don’t think a man of high status would attract me unless I was attracted to him already. I look for things that make a guy appear to be stable. But don’t listen to me. I’m not exactly the typical female – I like being emotional and logical at the same time. haha!
Maybe this is a female response, but I think you just haven’t met the right person for you. Where is she? I have no idea. Maybe she’ll be in Italy :)
Humble,
Quick note, I feel in the Matrix, the term ALPHA brings up all sorts of “bad” connotations in peoples mind, most women would say they don’t want to date an ALPHA. But here are the thing I consider being ALPHA traits, perhaps you can look at this list and understand its basic underlying philosophy. I think its what you want to look for. What you describe on your blog it pure BETA behavior (insecure) on the part of your significant other. An ALPHA will not abuse you, he will create order in your life, and using Principles101, pleasure and pain.
http://www.alphamaleexamples.com/what-are-the-alpha-male-characteristics-i-should-aim-for/
There is a mistaken belief that “bad boyz” are ALPHA, this is because there are many qualities of a Jerk and ALPHA that are similar and when a woman first starts dating a man she can’t tell the difference. Over time it comes out though….
My belief today is there is no ONE, I used to think there was. But many out there that can meet my desires. Maybe I will meet her in Italy :) It will be fun to try!
Have a great day!
Paul
I thought I’d commented on this post already. Anyway, thanks for the plug and considering me your pickup consultant lol. Made my day!
Haha, that Italy reply is so non-sequitur that it will definitely catch her interest.